Friends with benefits?

Two decades ago, Harry, of meeting-Sally fame, told us that “men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way”, these days, filmmakers are focusing on making the sex part of the friendship. Two new comedies about friends who have sex-sansromance tell us that it’s not just all right to hang out with opposite-sex pals: it’s also normal to shag them, without expecting that the afterglow will involve any greater display of emotion than a high-five.

Friends with benefits (FWBs): so hot right now. No Strings Attached, starring Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher, and autumn’s Friends With Benefits, starring Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake, share a point of departure: sexy twentysomethings are reluctant to commit to real relationships – too busy, too scarred by breakups, too cool. But they desire the pleasures (and consistency) of a bed partner who they don’t mind having a conversation with. It’s the job for what Portman and Kutcher’s characters call “sex friends” – the erotic counterparts to the chums you do Pilates with and the mates you go for a drink with after work. Pals with shared interests.

These films aren’t the first time filmmakers have dabbled in the subject recently – see also Love and Other Drugs and the jolly on-the-road chummy sex in Up In The Air. Why the upsurge in interest in these liaisons? Perhaps it’s because beneficial friendships have long been a preoccupation (and occupation) of the children of the 80s who are making these films. We reached sexual maturity in an era when it had never been more accepted that we should be friends with members of the opposite sex, but that commitment (hello, 1990s divorce rates!) was less cool. The earliest instance of the phrase may have come from Alanis Morrisette’s 1995 album Jagged Little Pill. In “Head Over Feet”, Alanis sings: “You’re my best friend / best friend with benefits” and we wondered, “does that mean if I pull my best friend Alex at the school disco he won’t be my boyfriend?”

you can read the entire article here: http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/taboo-tolerance/friends-with-benefits-2210232.html